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Path Of FreeMan Path Of FreeMan

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Clunky, cluttered, and craptacular.

In all honesty, it was hard giving this game even one star. First off, the base gameplay mechanics are, as the title says, clunky--at best. In many cases, I found myself lagging, despite my respectable system, which was made even more unbearable by the "camera" system, which almost instantly switches directions the moment you move the cursor behind Freeman.

The music isn't even music. It's a 3 second loop of the same 5-note drum beat, without any noticeable change. The sound effects are sparse. In fact, I rarely even heard anything EXCEPT the music.

As for the physics you touted? Well, let's just say that Isaac Newton is rolling in his grave right now.

The parody was hard to stomach. Yes, I understand it's a parody. What I don't understand is why the common perception of parody is purposefully poor writing and stale jokes. I skipped as many dialogue instances as possible.

The graphics are also quite terrible. The blood is red yarn, characters are quickly slapped together and stiff (and yes, you could have hidden the joints a lot better than you did), and the backgrounds are either bland, gradient-filled blocks with physics objects slapped in front of them or the same thing with low-quality replications of in-game objects from Half-Life 2 slapped on top.

Finally, the most atrocious part of this entire ham of a game--the constant misspelling. "Conrols." "Shot your enemies." I admit, I am a bit of a grammar and spelling Nazi, but this is ridiculous regardless.

I think its safe to say that despite whatever time you spent on it, it is one of the worst Half-Life themed Flash games on this site. I'm normally not this cruel, but come on. This is ridiculous.

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ultimate flash sonic ultimate flash sonic

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Great presentation, but way too small

I admittedly had fun playing this.

At least, while I was.

The play length is very, very short, and the cheats offer little incentive to continue, even though there are quite a few.

This is understandable for a Flash game, but come on. Couldn't it have been at least a little longer than six levels?

Other than that, I have very few complaints other than floor glitches (sinking through, stopping for no reason on occasion), repetitive menu music, and occasionally poor responsiveness.

Maybe in the next iteration (granted there is one), you could make the game a little longer. Also, crouching while rolling does the same thing as it does in the Genesis games, but why can't it hurt enemies too?

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Recent Audio Reviews

Hitler And His Talking Vagina Hitler And His Talking Vagina

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Need I say...

...ready for Garry's Mod?


FF7 - Battle Theme Remake FF7 - Battle Theme Remake

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Over the top--which is both good and bad.

Indeed, over the top. Now, I can understand this fitting in an epic battle scene, but when used in the context of Final Fantasy VII, where you'll likely be having a random encounter at least every five minutes, the whole in-your-face, explosions and epicness style of the song loses its meaning.

Context gripes aside, I've got to admit this is an incredible sounding revisit of the original FF7 Battle Theme. As to how you were replicate it as well as you did, I can't really say for sure. It sounds rich, it has depth, and has just enough asymmetry to grant it that realistic sound--aside from a few cases of blocky string ensembles. The composition is steady throughout.

I'm gonna have to give this an 8/10. In-fuckin'-credible job. I'm thinking you should consider a career in music, perhaps movie scores or video game soundtracks.

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